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24/10/2013

Just ask Mr. Neumann!

One can often fend off a telemarketer with a friendly "thank you", since most callers are very nice people....

One can often fend off a telemarketer with a friendly "thank you", since most callers are very nice people. I do turn evil though if someone tries to get to me with lies like "I was in the army with Mr. Spranger." (where I had never been) or "at school" (where I rarely was) or something similar.

However, there are also companies where you never get off of the list. Every week someone calls, asking "Who is in charge of your ... ".

For cases like these, we now have Mr. Neumann! Because instead of simply hanging up and still repeatedly receiving the same calls, I prefer to answer: " ... For this only Mr. Neumann is responsible. However, since Mr. Neumann is deaf, unfortunately you can only really reach him by e-mail at dirk.neumann@jarltech.de. There is no other way."

Sometimes there are newsletters that you cannot easily unsubscribe to, because you have to show interest in a specific provider. But a quick note by email, asking to please address all future messages to Mr. Neumann is polite, and the problem is immediately solved.

And lo and behold ... it works. The number of calls is less, and I do not see whether or not Mr. Neumann receives e-mails, because I have chosen a 16-digit password for him, without looking at the keyboard.

We find it funny that now also mail for Mr. Neumann comes to our office. Catalogues, giveaways and even invitations. Even this mail is not annoying, because it can be put straight into the trash can. Since Mr. Neumann is now already included in a number of marketing lists, where you can obviously not make any mention of him being deaf, several companies still call here asking for him. For example, they want to try the latest investment tricks directly from London. Of course, each caller would say that he is naturally not making an "unsolicited" call, because he has been in a business relationship with Mr. Neumann for a long time.

This just came to mind: I kindly ask our marketing department to print business cards with Mr. Neumann's contact information, which I can then use at trade shows.

It's lunch time, so I will call Mr. Neumann into the conference room, so that at least I can eat meeting biscuits in peace and quiet. And if you want to write something from the soul, simply write to dirk.neumann@jarltech.de. He is a good listener and I promise you he will not annoy you!

11/10/2013

Promo mania as a last resort

In the last quarter, Jarltech has again met or exceeded all targets set by the vendors, and we are pleased to continue experiencing steady, double-digit growth.

...

In the last quarter, Jarltech has again met or exceeded all targets set by the vendors, and we are pleased to continue experiencing steady, double-digit growth.

What's funny is that some of our competitors who are losing revenue say over and over again during their analysis conferences: "Although we are losing revenue, we are gaining market share." Sorry, that is a bold-faced lie. But I do not have to buy your shares.

You can see where one or the other vendor on the market is losing points in the fact that some vendors again dig deep into the "promo" box in order to stimulate sales.

Leading the pack in this hustle and bustle is a large vendor of ours, who actually hurled eight "promos" with one stroke on 1 October. Plus, some of our employees are to be paid directly for the sales (which we cannot stand, because we want to decide for ourselves what products we promote). When a vendor employee wins a prize at our Networking Dinner there is immediate compliance-terror - but suddenly the companies can pay cash directly to our employees.

Or there are massive "retrospective rebates" on products which are still not selling better. Our dealers do not now go and buy 100 extra scanners if there is not a job order.

And if I lower a scanner price by 30%, then I have to massively sell more to reach a similar turnover. Of course, we distributors also preach that quarterly targets need to be reduced accordingly. Since all vendors should sell 30% more, it is quite logical that the price also is in the basement. It has taken just three days for the promos to be sent via data feed into all retail web shops - and thus the product is not interesting for a software house, since there is nothing more to earn.

Apparently, one or the other manager wants to reach for quarterly target by any means necessary - but maybe you should re-negotiate the goals realistically with your employer, rather than to give away a massive margin and to annoy the channel.

If one looks for the cause: every one of this vendor's employees which one talks to finds this promo mania completely useless and cumbersome, and nobody wants it to be "it" again. Maybe it was just a hacker from the competition, and it's all been just a stupid joke in the end.

02/10/2013

Jarltech Networking Dinner II/2013

What a party! Thank you to all of those who helped!
...

What a party! Thank you to all of those who helped!

Jarltech invites all EMEA employees to Frankfurt at least twice a year, as well as the employees of several vendors. Over the years we have perfected this event. Both bands only ran out of steam at 3am, and the last guests did not depart until 7am - in order to meet colleagues for breakfast. :) The largest Carrera race track in Europe attracted many "children at play".

The cost for such an event is naturally enormous, especially if you do not wish to offer a pathetic buffet, but rather, reward both your employees and partners. Here and there during events held by our vendors one could ask the question "What did I do wrong?" when you see the catering. Thankfully we gratefully receive amounts in the form of sponsorships from several vendors, although the bulk of the costs lies with us. Because of this, such an event is often controversially discussed. At the end the conclusion is always unanimously in favor of it.

We believe that a company which has 14 branches in Europe and the Middle East alone definitely needs a forum for exchanging ideas in a relaxed atmosphere. We also believe that it makes sense when an account manager of a Spanish scanner vendor has the opportunity to see our headquarters. It is also helpful for him (or her) to be able to exchange ideas with a Country Manager from the Netherlands. Plus our sales employees in Poland should know who it is packaging their orders or processing their expense reports.

After each Networking Dinner my iPhone is stuffed with new ideas from at least fifty short discussions. The most important thing to heed is my last note for the evening: do not schedule any appointments the next day!

P.S.: You will find photos and a short video of the event on www.facebook.com/jarltech